The Hidden Currency of Professional Relationships
When you’re a college student talking to professionals, it can feel like there’s an imbalance.
They’re giving you time, advice, and answers to your burning questions. And you’re just there — listening intently, hoping they don’t know you got back at 2 a.m. last night.
THEORY
Hidden Currency
When I started reaching out to people, I felt that I was taking more than I was giving.
I brought this up to Jennifer Jones, Director of the UVA Economics Career Office. In Econ terms, she said:
“The currency visible to you is advice, knowledge, and guidance — and since you may not have that to give them, the exchange can feel one-sided.
You have to realize you’re dealing in different currencies.
To them, you’re giving the opportunity to be a mentor. The currency they get is in helping someone else. In this case, it’s you.”
Others I’ve spoken with see it the same way:
“When someone agrees to get on the phone, there’s a part of them that likes helping others.” — Julia Sanabria, Partner, Lowenstein Sandler LLP
“There’s a feeling in your heart when you help someone. It makes you feel good — it’s the gift that keeps on giving.” — Ryan Odom, Head Coach, UVA Men’s Basketball
PARTING THOUGHTS
The Application
Insights like these help me think of “networking” as less of a zero-sum game.
A coffee chat isn’t just a chance to ask questions. It’s the first step in building a relationship, and possibly gaining a mentor.
So my advice is this:
Find something you’re curious about
Find a UVA alum on LinkedIn who’s had success doing it
Reach out to them. For nothing else but to hear their story.
Here’s an email to get you started:
Hi [Name], I’m [Your Name], an X-year at UVA interested in [topic/industry]. [give a SHORT account on why you’re interested in it (you read alot about it, learned something in class related, someone you know does it. Don’t just say that you’re interested, say why.] I’d love to learn more about your path and experience doing/working in [X] and introduce myself. Are you free for a 20 minute call? Best, [Your Name]
